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"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"From the back of the plane, a passenger yelled"For the love of God, you should see the back of mine!"This one is compliments of AnonymousA married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet.One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well. Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It sure is dark in here, isn't it?" Yes it is," the man replies."Do you wanna buy a baseball?" asks the little boy."No, thank you," the man replies."I think you do wanna buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues.After considering the position he's in, the man says, "Fine. How much?" Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies."TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats incredulously, but complies to protect his hidden position.The. "I think you should," Stacy assured her. "Hell, it's not like your going to fall in love. Just find yourself a stud. Think about it. Imagine him pounding away at you. Wouldn't that feel great?"She still wasn't convinced. "I guess so," she responded weakly."Hell, yes it would!" Stacy cried enthusiastically. "And you know it."So she had set about finding her stud. That's how she thought of him. He'd be just meat to be used and discarded after this one time.She found him quite by accident.It was a warm Saturday afternoon. She was out running errands. At a stop-light in a residential neighborhood he rolled up beside her window. He was riding a ten-speed bike. Most guys looked like dorks in those biker helmets, she though. He didn't.He was tanned, with a strong jaw and dark eyes. He looked up at the light as he eased his bike to the left. She rolled down her window."Keeps you in great shape," she said, softly.He looked at her and smiled. "It's a lot of work, but, yes, it keeps me in.
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